Releasing and letting go is a central theme in the inner life. There are so many shades, layers and levels to releasing.
So many moments in life ask for this capacity from us - from letting go of the plans we had as we find reality has changed, letting go of people who are no longer part of our lives, of past experiences - beautiful or difficult, of grudges big and small, of ideas we have of ourselves and others, and many more.
As one of my favourite Dharma teachers, Jack Kornfield, says: To love fully and live well requires us to recognise finally that we do not possess or own anything—our homes, our cars, our loved ones, not even our own body. Spiritual joy and wisdom do not come through possession but rather through our capacity to open, to love more fully, and to move and be free in life.
So how do we actually practice letting go? First by recognising the moments in which our minds and hearts are grasping, and the stress and unpleasant pain that comes as a result of this. Throughout our every day life we can encounter tiny moments of grasping which are subtle, all the way to situations in which grasping can be quite strong.
By recognising that grasping is currently happening, we can begin to feel the pain that comes as a result. Letting go is a natural result of fully feeling and comprehending this, but it may take time and patience.
At certain times, the mind may be contracted, grasping and scared - but recognising when the mind is actually free from grasping, is as important.
If we practice Meditation well, we may find times that the mind is very receptive to letting go - in fact, experiences of "complete letting go" are so restful and peaceful, that they can leave a strong impression on us that can later affect everyone and everything we meet.
At any moment, letting go can be asked of us by an experience. At some points, the challenge of letting go of people and even ourselves as we age and die, will be presented to us. We might as well begin practicing and growing our capacity in the smaller moments, so that when the time comes, we will have a better sense of what is needed.